“The sun always shines when I am with my Gangsters & Fangsters.” Wally Clay
On June 1, 2013, Kirstan Baxter, the daughter of Wally Clay, wrote to his online cancer support group friends, “Wally passed away early this afternoon, in his home, surrounded by his dogs, cats, and family (in that order) :). He always spoke of his Colontown family and thought so very highly of all of you – thank you for the support that you have given him over the years. He is no longer in pain, and we think he is much happier now.”
Erika Hanson Brown, Mayor of the support group Colontown, wrote, “Merlin (Wally Clay) was one of our original Colontownies. I met him through the ACOR Colon List, and this list. He came onto the list as a participant a couple of years after I joined (I signed up in 2004, shortly after I had finished with my chemo regimen). I noticed his posts immediately as something very special. He was always telling wonderful stories about his ‘gangsters and fangsters’ – his dogs and cats. He adored those wonderful beings, and telling his chuckle-making stories about their antics made him feel better about living – as he was – with his disease (colon cancer). And his stories, nutty as they were, somehow made everyone else feel better as well. Wally (‘Merlin’ he liked to call himself) became the original ‘grandpappy’ of Colontown. He would often post pictures of his beloved dogs and cats, and he was – to me – a very primary source of comfort as I struggled to build Colontown, the community. He was always telling me that I was doing a good job, that I should keep going.
Wally called me just a couple of days ago to tell me that he had decided to suspend chemo – to accept palliative care. He told me that that day was ‘a good day’, and he felt good about his decision. I believe that he honestly felt that he would have the summer, and we made plans to get together when I come east this summer. I’m at ASCO in Chicago. I noticed about noon that there was a call from ‘Wally Clay’ on my phone log – and I just knew. My heart sank. This is too, too quick. The call was from his family, of course. I did talk with Willie tonight, his utterly devoted wife of 50 years….and she comforted ME and soothed my tears.
You know, in our community, Wally was known as ‘Merlin’ —and we dedicated a neighborhood in Colontown for him (at his request, about a year ago). He wanted his own ‘place’ where he could post his stories and his photos of his beloved furry family. He wanted people to have fun there. I was so happy to create that for him (and for us!) So, they do have fun there. And we will always find fun in Merlin’s Magical Emporium…a neighborhood of Colontown.
Willy told me tonight that Jack – one of his adored and adoring dogs – was licking his face as he took his last breath. How very appropriate and fitting …..and how heart-wrenching.
I’m very, very sad tonight. Colontown has lost a father figure; I personally feel that I’ve lost yet another parent. He is so very missed.”
Among many notes expressing condolences for Wally, Louise Kuklis wrote, “Wally was so encouraging to me when my colon cancer came back and spread to my lungs in the fall of 2009. His posts always included some of his stories delighting in the simple things in life, especially watching the antics of his dogs. He also often spoke of what a wonderful partner his wife was. My condolences go out to her and all his family and friends. He showed us all how to fight this disease with dignity and humor. He was a wonderful spirit who truly made a difference in my attitude towards fighting my cancer…he showed the way!”
“We all lost a friend in Wally. He showed how to live well and how to die well,” wrote Jean di Carlo-Wagner.
Wally Clay’s Life
This article is not about Wally’s death, though. It’s about his life. When an article was published in this feature about pets and cancer, Wally wanted to contribute to the subject. It was clear that his animals were loved and important to him, as were his humans. “When I post stories about my animals, my cats and my dogs, it is because they help me in many ways to deal with cancer and to survive,” said Wally.
Wally was a very positive person, who often wrote of himself as being happy, even during his cancer journey. “I have found, in my life, that painful experiences are accompanied by the positive. I once lost a great dog and that was painful. But in the following weeks, a happy, cheerful little Jack Russell came into our lives and he made us laugh. I do not believe in coincidences. Our acceptance of Skippy made the grief of the loss so much easier to bear. But you have to accept it all to realize what life is all about.”
“The whole point of positive thinking, in my opinion, is quality of life,” he wrote. “I can live my life in a positive way with positive thinking, or I can forgo the positive and live it thinking negative thoughts and being angry. I choose the former. It makes dealing with my cancer so much easier. Whether or not positive thinking extends one’s life, I don’t know, but I would rather die with a smile on my face rather than a frown.”
Wally Clay had a lot to say. He shared his stories with his online friends, who had become personal and important connections for him over the years. In addition to his posts in the ACOR groups and in Colontown, he started two blogs, and tried to keep updating them. He wrote, My Lifeline- a blog by Wally Clay. Recently, he started another one, On the Cancer Road by Wally Clay. He shared most of his thoughts within the cancer support groups.
He wanted to share the story of his life, and the things he found to be important in life. He asked for help in editing his many stories, so there are odds and ends here woven together that give a glimpse into a man’s life, his loves, and how he lived with cancer and still found joy in his life, right up until the end of it.
“My name is Wally Clay. I live in the Forests of Nottingham, Pa with my wife, three Chesapeake Bay Retrievers, one Jack Russell Terrier and two cats,” Wally wrote. “My wife and I have 5 children, 14 grandchildren, and we now have our first great grandchild, Dale Samuel.”
“I was born on a mountain top in Boone, North Carolina, in the year 1938. My parents moved to Ohio shortly after I was born and we ended up in a small town called Pemberville, Ohio. My Father was also from North Carolina and my mother was born in Toledo, Ohio. My dad and grandfather were involved in the timbering business for a number of years. After we moved to Ohio, dad had a trucking business hauling steel and produce. My father’s chief vocation was that of carpentry. After we moved to Pemberville, dad remained in the carpentry business, working for others at times and eventually for himself. He was a master carpenter, able to do all aspects, from framing to the interior work.”
“My mother worked several jobs during the second world war, from being a welder and eventually doing clerical work at the Rossford Ordinance Depot in Rossford Ohio. She worked there until retirement, and later, my parents moved to Satellite Beach in Florida, not far from Cape Canaveral.”
“I had three brothers and two sisters. Allen, David and Carter were my brothers. Patricia and Maryland were older sisters. I was second youngest. In high school, I participated in track and I graduated Valedictorian, in a class of 28, in 1956. I was interested in science and physics in particular. I started college at the Case Institute of Technology in Cleveland, Ohio, which is now part of Western Reserve University. Shortly after starting classes at Case, I got a scholarship offer from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), but decided to stay at Case, which at the time, had a reputation equal to MIT’s.”
“Economics forced me to drop out of Case after my sophomore year. I worked for E. I Dupont in Toledo, Ohio, as a lab technician, from the summer of 1958 until December 1960. The plant manufactured paint for the automotive industry. This was the time of singers like Teresa Brewer and The Everly Brothers, and movies like East of Eden, and American Graffiti. Roller Skating rinks were a popular hangout for the young, and cruising the town in a convertible was very cool. It was during this time that a co-worker introduced me to my future wife, Wilhelmina Finley.”
“I was very much tongue-tied around women and girls, and I remember our first date was to a county fair held in Bowling Green, Ohio. I do not think we spoke more than a few words to each other. However, we stayed together, and were married on January 29, 1961, in a small Presbyterian Church in Scotch Ridge, Ohio. We are approaching our 51st anniversary this month.”
“Wilhelmina and I decided to move to Michigan so I could attend the University of Michigan. She would work while I went to school. We first moved to Ypsilanti, Michigan and rented a small apartment. I went to the university for one semester and then dropped out for a semester so I could register as a resident of Michigan. Doing so meant I could register for about $500 a semester. ( Can you believe it? ). When I retuned to school, we moved into an apartment in Ann Arbor, Michigan. My wife got a job with the university and I worked nights at the Ann Arbor Bank sorting checks. I lived close enough to the campus ( actually near the football stadium) where I could walk to my classes.”
“Our First Child, Kelli Suzanne, was born at St. Joseph Hospital in Ann Arbor on August 28, 1962.”
“I graduated from the University Of Michigan in June 1993 with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Physics. I worked as a carpenter with my dad during the summer of 1993 while I applied for jobs at the Ballistic Research Laboratory in Aberdeen, Md, and with the CIA in Washington D.C. I was offered a job with the CIA, but that was put on hold because of job freezes, but I did get the job at the Ballistic Research Laboratory. I started in January 1964. The Ballistic Research Laboratory was to become the Army Research Laboratory sometime in the 90’s.
